These Are the Names of Our Lives

A juvenile* start today: McHorney.

Moving right along:

Schoolmaster. I suppose it's not all that different from "Baker" or "Smith" or "Miler" or any other such vocational surname, but this one feels awfully specific. Being compelled not just to go into education, but educational administration. I suppose it could work as a pseudonym for a working dominatrix. Why not "Schoolmistress" then, though?

Clarinda:

"Oh dearest, you've just given birth to a beautiful baby girl. What shall we name her?"
"[wheeze] well, darling, [huff] I rather fancy [puff] the name 'Melinda', after [wheeze] my great aunt."
"Really? Oh. I thought perhaps we'd name her 'Clarinet', after that humble chancellor of the woodwind section."
"[wheeze]"
"Well, I suppose we can compromise."

Palanuk. This is a cut-rate Palahniuk. Similar, but, y'know, abridged. Come winter '05, check book stores for Huck Palanuk's debut novel, Fig Cub. (Soon to be a mao moto pit! {Okay, that was pretty weak.})

Repetto. Twin brother of Gepetto, born two minutes later. Repetto's mother was in no better shape than Clarinda's, at that point.

*as if, somehow, the bulk of the content here should not be considered juvenile.