It's The Namies!
[theme music: "Naming Names" by Diane Warren]
Welcome, all of you, to the innaugural celebration of a brand new, and long-needed, award ceremony: the Namies. This evening, we'll take a look back on some of the names that Josh has for whatever reason seen recently, and we'll make fun of them.
But before that, a moment of seriousness. We, the representatives of the Namies Name Naming Commission of America, recognize the long tradition of name fun-making-of as a sacred institution of this country, but for all the laughter there is a sad side to the story. Every year, over 5,000,000 names will be misspelled, mispronounced, or otherwise mangled. No one is excepted from this, be they a Jones or a Smythe or a McLeod, but we must put our hearts out especially to the Millards and the Thibaults and the Nguyens. By the end of this broadcast, another 10,000 names will have been marred by typoes and verbal flubs.
We must never, ever forget.
And now, the awards:
Name Least Likely To Be Called "pretty" Under Any Circumstances
And the winner is...Stumpf.
Name Most Likely To Be Spotted On A Gencon Nametag
You winner: Artemes.
Best Ironic Name For Fat Guy
The Acadamy has selected Skelton!
Name Most Confused With Small Black Notebooks
And it's...I don't believe it! Erskine!
And now, one final award, possibly the most important of our whole evening. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you our selection for Unbelievably Perfect Name For A Classic Rock Tribute Band...
Man, I just can't stand the excitement! C'mon, you freakin' envelope, open already!
[laughter]
Okay! The winner is...
Steely Duran!
On behalf of the whole of the Namies Academy, and of all the names named tonight, we thank you for being here with us for the first inaugural Namies! Good night, and God bless America!
Welcome, all of you, to the innaugural celebration of a brand new, and long-needed, award ceremony: the Namies. This evening, we'll take a look back on some of the names that Josh has for whatever reason seen recently, and we'll make fun of them.
But before that, a moment of seriousness. We, the representatives of the Namies Name Naming Commission of America, recognize the long tradition of name fun-making-of as a sacred institution of this country, but for all the laughter there is a sad side to the story. Every year, over 5,000,000 names will be misspelled, mispronounced, or otherwise mangled. No one is excepted from this, be they a Jones or a Smythe or a McLeod, but we must put our hearts out especially to the Millards and the Thibaults and the Nguyens. By the end of this broadcast, another 10,000 names will have been marred by typoes and verbal flubs.
We must never, ever forget.
And now, the awards:
Name Least Likely To Be Called "pretty" Under Any Circumstances
And the winner is...Stumpf.
Name Most Likely To Be Spotted On A Gencon Nametag
You winner: Artemes.
Best Ironic Name For Fat Guy
The Acadamy has selected Skelton!
Name Most Confused With Small Black Notebooks
And it's...I don't believe it! Erskine!
And now, one final award, possibly the most important of our whole evening. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you our selection for Unbelievably Perfect Name For A Classic Rock Tribute Band...
Man, I just can't stand the excitement! C'mon, you freakin' envelope, open already!
[laughter]
Okay! The winner is...
Steely Duran!
On behalf of the whole of the Namies Academy, and of all the names named tonight, we thank you for being here with us for the first inaugural Namies! Good night, and God bless America!
posted by cortex at 2:14 PM
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